Splitzter - January 9th, 2004

  Somebody in the Adams family got a late Christmas present. I canít deduce whether it was Lori or Tony. Let me paint the picture. Itís Saturday night in the Primerica Mixed league. Tony and Lori are bowling with the Bostelmans, who by the way are the real bowling talents on the team. Bun-Man starts off with a couple of solid scores of 229-223. Next thing you know heís got the first six strikes in game three. Now you must take into account that wifey Lori has never seen Tony do a 300 game. Heís had four but always in her absence. Coincidence? Hmmm, I think not. Bad karma.

Anyway, as Tony continues his run Iím noticing that heís plain peppering the pocket. None of this ďblow the five into the sevenĒ business. No swishy light hits where the ten barely falls. Itís the high-hard one, baby. This is not the Tony Iím used to seeing. So what does the Splitzter do? He gets his wallet out and searches out suckers who would bet against our hero (like that was hard to do). To make a long story short, Tony delivered for his fifth career 300 with beauties in the ninth and tenth frames. Absolute crushers. Lori about tackles him on the approach after the twelfth shot, she finally sees him do it in person and the Splitzter made a few bucks (of which Bun-Man saw nada). Congrats, Bun-Man

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level. The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes from the second team looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

Marsha Brandt has been on a bit of a tear lately. She overtook Janet Franzí 655 high female series in Henry County with a 659 of her own last month. This past weekend she shot third county high series in the Primerica Mixed with scores of 212-224-208 for 644. Her 193 average in that league is currently high ladies average in the county while her weekly Party Mart Classic average of 182.9 is tied for second in that league.

Speaking of the fairer sex: To date there have been 24 seriesí of 600 or better shot by the gals this season. Can you name who has the highest number at this point in time? Dwell on it a bitÖ

Entry forms will be out next week for the Henry County Menís Championships. Your tournament director this year will once again be your old buddy Hoopster. Iíve heard that the opening shots will be on Friday, February 6th at Deshler Lanes. Get those entries in quickly once they hit the bowling centers. Deshler is always a record breaker for numbers of teams. The House of DumperĒ needs a new moniker. Our buddy Barry is no longer at the helm and we wish him well selling fish squares out of a moving vehicle.

Cute sign in the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

The fellas had five 700s this past week: Tony ďBun-ManĒ Adams-752; Shane Bofia-744; Scott Helberg-711; Bob Cannon-709; Chad Schwaiger-703.

Hereís the list of ladies 600s thus far: Marsha Brandt-5; Karen Zumfelde-5; Janice Carpenter-5; Tami Bombick-2; Janet Franz-2; Debby Lesinski-1; Julie Hefflinger-1; Linda Kinder-1; Sherry Beck-1; Shirley Perez-1.