Splitzter - December 26, 2003

  It’s Christmas Eve and the Splitzter is facing that age old question, what to get grandma for Christmas this year. If she needs it, she has it. If she doesn’t have it, she can’t run it. A VCR? Nope. Too complicated. A DVD player? Same problem. How about clothes? What was her size again? <sigh>

How about that Janet Franz? Let’s see, just how many awards did she win last Thursday night? Starting the evening’s festivities in the Napoleon Party Mart Classic Janet shoots a 181. Then she started rolling. A county high score of 267 ( besting Julie Hefflinger’s 258 from mid-November) fell into place. She wrapped up her super set with a 207 number for a 655 series. That placed her on top the county leader board for ladies series… for about two days. The 267 earned her the 75 pins over award and the series gets her the 125 over series award. Nice shooting, Janet.

So if Janet was high for two days, what beat her? Enter Marsha Brandt Saturday night on the Primerica Mixed league. Marsha was very consistent with her evening’s work posting games of 224-199-236 for a solid 659 set. I’m sure that Jon Horner, her personal coach and bowling partner, deserves 80 percent of the credit here.

Oh, I know. Grandma could use, maybe, one of those vacuum cleaners that could suck the core out of a bowling ball if need be. Nah. She has people come in and do her cleaning. Keep thinking.

Remember I mentioned last week Bruce Engler’s 783 series with a 289 game? Well, the old “Hand of Thor” continues to rock the pins. Bowling in the Hernandez Insurance Classic last Wednesday, Bruce started slow with a 204. He followed up with River City’s fifth 300 of the season and finished with a 233 final game, producing a nice 737 series and as always, plaudits and wonderment from his bowling buddies. When his knuckles aren’t dragging on the ground, he throws a ton of ball.

Our buddy Schwaig Dude came within a pin of the week’s second perfecto with a 299 game in the Primerica Mixed. Randy sandwiched games of 246-225 around the 299 for a week leading 770 series. But wait, these were make-up games. He was probably running around the center while attempting to bowl that afternoon. Everyone knows he bowls best when he’s got the brain turned off. Even Paulie can score when he’s just throwing the ball. I need to look into this one.

Hey. I bet grandma could use something warm for the tootsies. Some slippers or something. Nah. That draws perilously close to buying socks. Wait a minute. Didn’t she buy me underwear when I was 12? I can’t do slippers. Back to the drawing board.

The gals had two other sixes last week with Karen Zumfelde and Janice Carpenter hitting the magic 6-0-0. Karen had games of 185-235-192 for 612 while Janice had 223-197-181 for 601.

The fellas had another big 700 week with 13. Here we go: Randy Schwaiger-770; Scott helberg-761; Randy lambert-755; Jeff Lesinski-748; Tim Dietrich-739; Bruce Engler-737; Bob Cannon-728; Jeff Lesinski-725; Tony “Bun-Man” Adams-723; Matt Buehrer-715; J J Westhoven-709; Ryan Hill-704;Rick Merrick-703.

I’ve got it. Grandma needs one of those new, high-powered bowling balls. Around 15 pounds with some white grips with a smooth slug. And if she doesn’t want to get it drilled right away, I can break it in for her until she’s ready for it. Get me underwear, will ya. Merry Christmas, grandma.